(via intensional)

gunsandwwands:

dj-gryff:

this one time I ran a red light on mistake and I didn’t notice it was red until it was too late so I just ran the light screeching like an angry pterodactyl the entire time

a cop was at the intersection so he pulled me over and when he came up to my window he was wheezing cause he was laughing so hard and he said

“ok so i know you ran a red light and that’s really bad and you should never do it again but i’m not gonna give you a ticket cause that was the funniest thing i’ve ever seen and my partner can’t get out of the car cause he’s laughing so hard he’s about to pee himself”

i forgot that i’d had my window open when i ran the red light and the cop told me that all he heard from my car was this really high-pitched “screeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

and that’s how i got out of getting a ticket for running a red light

this is my favourite story of all time and im probably going to reblog it many times throughout my blog’s lifetime

(via intensional)

(via we-are-youngforever)

hoodrat-gutterpigeon:

UNMUTE THIS IMMEDIATELY

(via milehighghoull-deactivated20180)

(via milehighghoull-deactivated20180)

drugsruleeverythingaroundme:

(via milehighghoull-deactivated20180)

(via intensional)

orcas:

orcas:

My local water park is draining their pools but before they do they’re having a ‘Doggy Day’ where you can bring your dogs and have them splash around and play for awhile

(via gamemer)

(Source: fantasia, via lachrymosa)

(Source: weheartit.com, via f-u-c-k-i-n-q)

eatyoursoul:

onefitmodel:

crofethr:

denali-winter:

BAM.

I have never hit reblog so fast in my LIFE.

dat sass in the last gif holy fuck

THE WAY SHE KEEPS ON SMILING 

(via megxnhxrmvn)

ihartgracehelbig:

damnnlyssa:

the-fury-of-a-time-lord:

oyesiam1:

Thank you Ellen for showing as once again how to react to homophobia with class and humour.

x

there is literally nothing i hate about this woman

ellen for jesus 2016

“ELLEN FOR JESUS 2016”

Ellen pretty much is already jesus

(via coffee-kittens)

idiotbh:

Amsterdam? more like Amsterdamn

(via missdollymunn)

(via missdollymunn)

(via capittol)